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I have bricked up my heart and black'd my eyes.

by Straight Panic

/
1.
Gasoline drip; Taste at the back of the throat Sharp intake of breath Involuntary holding pattern Chain smoking as a distraction Jaw—clenched Shiver Shiver Shiver Uniform inspection Repetitive motion This is how I relax
2.
Spun 08:52
Shot in the brain Sweat-soaked and quivering Clenched muscles give way to spasm Every touch 10,000v The smell of burnt plastic And chemicals on the tongue A crystalline facet exposes Endless paths of depravity Limits broken like bone A moving target The thrill of the hunt
3.
Rhetorical Posed Statuesque and profane Skin and hair Mucous membranes Exposed, parted The question answers itself The ritual of consent Fluid exchange Pageantry and performance A sensual poise Deviant choreography Bodies form sigils Transmutation of fantasy into experience The memory of attraction hangs Like substance addiction to various tissues
4.
You will never know my name Discretion serves the fantasy A fictionalized biography An unreliable narrator What we tell each other Need not be fact—only true in the moment Brother submits to brother In a lurid confessional You will never know my name There are no secrets here to keep or tell Acceptable risks amongst high-risk behaviors Narcotic transactions Sexual liasons An anonymous rendezvous The best parts of don't ask, don't tell Unratified legislation Written into the body's desire

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released February 20, 2019

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STRAIGHT PANIC Providence, Rhode Island

Queer Power Electronics

Minneapolis (2014-2017)
New Orleans (2017-2020)
Providence (2020-)

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